and she smiles!!!

After a week together as a new family, Annie began to scream less when she saw me in the mornings. It had become the usual routine...put her in the crib at night, she screamed for about 5 minutes and then collapsed only to sleep all night. In the mornings, she would wake up, stand up, and take one look over at us...I could read her little mind saying, "they're STILL here!" and then she would scream a little less each day.

I was worried. She would sit over in the corner of the room and divide the duplo blocks by color. And only play with the red and white ones. She still had her wall eyed fits at least 3-4 times daily. But at least the diaper stuff was back to normal. Thank you Lord.

Several days into our stay at the White Swan, we went as a group over to the Hard Rock Cafe for our first taste of American-type food. At least it LOOKED American. They gave the girls balloons. Annie loved her balloon. It could have been the first time she ever saw one actually.

The next morning, Brandt went off on his usual morning walk (Annie's obligatory time with her MOTHER). We went out into the hallway of the hotel where the girls were playing. In the past couple of weeks, Annie had NO interest in playing with the girls. Another thing to worry about. Was she autistic? Most of my pediatric medical friends whom I had frantically been emailing daily said ..."quit worrying! She is just grieving...it is a GOOD thing. It means someone loved her and she is missing them." Sounds good...unless you are living it.

We went out into the hallway, and began to play with the balloon. She was having fun in her own not smiling way. I picked her up and began to toss her in the air. SHE SMILED!!! I looked over at my friend Nina (who was the mom to the other girl with the intestinal problem) and said -----"did you see that?" I was not sure I really saw the smile. So I picked her up again...she smiled AGAIN!!! So of course I HAD to do it again....SHE LAUGHED!!!

I cried.

I cried and laughed and did it again. Here is that wonderful picture. The picture that says it all. I'm your Mom and I made you laugh. After that moment, we became buddies. Oh she still had her fits, and her 2 year old moments. But she liked me, she really liked me. The rest of the day was spent making this precious child laugh.

It was a HUGE burden of weight lifted off. The burden of guilt for making this child so miserably sad at age 2. The burden of worry that she would be emotionally scarred for life.

POOF - GONE in one laughing moment. It was such a relief.